I’m 22M and my girlfriend is 21F. We’ve been together for 1 year and known each other for about 2 years. We’ve met around 15–17 times.
She’s shy and somewhat traditional, and her family doesn’t know about us. At our last meeting, we were quite clingy, she was affectionate and gave me cheek kisses. She was still uncomfortable when I tried to kiss her, but a few days later she admitted she was avoiding me because she wasn’t confident.
Things are better now. She sends me romantic reels and even some hot snaps, so I don't feel like she’s lost attraction.
The main issue is sex. She has clearly said she wants to wait until marriage, but she’s comfortable with lip kisses, cuddling, hickeys and romantic hangouts. She says some things are simply better between husband and wife.
I personally don't want to necessarily wait until marriage for sex. I want to experience intimacy before marriage and know if we're compatible.
At one point, I told her, “You want to save it for marriage because you don't know if we'll actually get married, so you can save it for whoever you marry later.”
She was really offended by that. She says she trusts me a lot, but waiting isn't about another guy or lack of trust — it's simply her personal boundary.
Now I'm wondering if I'm reading too much into it.
Does wanting to wait until marriage mean she isn't sure about me or doesn't see me as her future husband? Or can someone genuinely love and trust their partner while still keeping sex as a marriage-only boundary?
I don't want to pressure her, and I respect her choice. But I also don't know whether our different views on sex are something I should consider a serious compatibility issue.
What do you guys think? Am I overthinking this?
